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d Two years ago, a friend's 18 year old son died in a car crash a couple of weeks before Christmas. I got a tree ornament that was a little frame, and had a beautiful verse on the back about memories. I put a picture of her son in it, and presented it to her. A few days later, she told me that they just couldn't put up the Christmas tree, until I gave them the ornament. That had been the help they needed to get it started for them & their other two sons. I was so made me feel like I had helped them a tiny bit.
R Donnelly

d My family and friends did not desert me. Often after a death or divorce female friends, who are still married, might feel that you are a competitor and couples begin to drift away. This is hurtful to the person grieving. The support my friends showed me during that time helped me through those times when I was overwhelmed. 

Family and friends can make the difference in the life of someone who is grieving. Call, stop by and make it a point to be engaged with someone who has lost a loved one. Show up unexpectedly with a cup of coffee and just be there to listen. 

ABC’s of Widowhood
- Interview with Author Pat Nowak

d In my book, From Sorrow to Dancing, I recount several things that people did for me after each of my husbands died.  An example would be a woman named Victoria who asked what she could do for me immediately after my first husband died.  I really couldn’t think of anything at that time so I suggested she might want to call me in three months to see if I needed anything.  To my amazement, she called three months later.  I still didn’t need anything but I have never forgotten her kindness in remembering me.
From Sorrow to Dancing -
Interview with Author Marcy Kelly

d Those nearest and dearest to us really did “close ranks” around my daughter and me in so many lovely and loving ways.  While my daughter and I were staying with my mother immediately after the funeral (as on top of everything else, we were both very ill with the flu), unbeknownst to me, one group of friends contacted our hospice and met them at my home to clean up the scene of my husband’s last hours, so that we would not have to return to that sight and that particularly painful memory.  Another group of friends and work colleagues formed a “Tupperware Brigade”; where meals were left on our doorstep every other day for over a month; along with cards, medicines and other necessities. My daughter’s friends made sure that schoolwork was delivered to her and returned to her teacher at school so that she would not fall behind in class. They also kept her entertained with cards, notes, “tween” magazines…anything to buoy her spirits. Most notably, I was allowed to grieve in the way(s) that I saw fit; which also allowed me to be there for my daughter as her own grief support. For all of these things and more, I will be forever grateful.   
Widows Wear Stilettos: A Practical and Emotional Guide for the Young Widow - Interview with Author Carole Brody Fleet


d They allowed me to progress through my grief journey at the speed that was just right for me. Moreover, I was not pressured by their expectations of what they thought I should be doing.  Family and friends remained constant without hovering. I felt their love and support and knew they would swoop in to catch me if I were to fall, but, at the same time, they allowed me the space to try out my new wings.
Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story - Interview with Author Ellen Gerst

d My friends were very patient with my crying and my telling them frequently how much I missed Andy.  My brother, who doesn’t say much, came through in a big way and was very supportive of me during my grief. Even now, almost two years later, almost every conversation includes an “Andy” story and they are very understanding about why I talk about him so much even though he’s gone.
Missing Andy -
Interview with Author Lori A Moore